Ode to Elaine

Elaine has only been gone for two weeks, but her absence is definitely noticeable. She’s quite a vociferous young woman, vibrant and goofy, and things were always more interesting and outings were always more fun when she was around. In honor of my former flatmate and missing friend, I’ve decided to share some of my favorite phrases or words that she’d use because she’s Scottish or because she’s just Elaine.

• He thought I was chatting him up when really I was just trying to be nice!

Translation: He thought I was flirting with him.

• I’m so glad you’re home, because I’ve just been faffing about all afternoon.

Translation: I’ve been wasting time all afternoon, and now that you’re here we can do something!

• I don’t feel like going to my sister’s place this weekend, because it always ends up that everyone starts slagging me off.

Translation: Everyone makes fun of me and always gives me crap when I go to my sister’s house.

(In parts of Britain, when you say that someone is taking the piss or taking the Mickey, that also means that someone is being made fun of and the butt of every joke.)

• We had a good time at lunch and some hilarious banter.

Translation: We had good conversations at lunch today.

• His speech was full of the most ridiculous blether. She blathered on for hours about absolutely nothing!

Translation: He talked a load of nonsense. She blabbed on and on.

(Also, witter and haver can be used in these cases.)

• I’m nackered after such a long day.

Translation: I’m exhausted.

• I had a wee squiz at the book before the exam. I didn’t revise the material as I should’ve done.

Translation: I glanced at the book before the exam since I didn’t study.

• Your house is full of bits and bobs. Get your bits and bobs together.

Translation: You’ve got a lot of stuff in your house. Get your things together.

• Those eggs might be a bit manky.

Translation: I think those eggs have gone bad.

• I’m feeling a bit peckish.

Translation: I’m a little bit hungry.

• Oh, I love sherbert! On second thought, I prefer biscuits.

Translation: Oh, I love fun dip, but I like cookies even more.

• I just can’t be bothered.

Translation: I’m just too lazy to worry about it.

• Have you got a plaster?

Translation: Do you have band-aid?

• We went to the back of beyond yesterday, and I have no idea where we were!

Translation: We were in the middle of nowhere yesterday.

Elaine, I loved having your as roommate these past several months. Thanks for all the great banter and good times. Missing you already, H