How to Make Friends in Madrid

3 ways and 3 anecdotes of how I have discovered to make friends in Madrid:

1. When invited, go!
Back when I was still a Furman student, Professor Mary Grant had put me in contact with her cousin who lives in Spain. After numerous email correspondences, I finally met Thomas Dalury last week. Thomas is the co-founder of Fundación Red Deporte, an NGO “promotes sports and physical education… as a social integration tool both in developing countries, the United States and in Spain.” [For more info: http://www.redeporte.org/index.html], and he invited me to a fundraiser-party for Red Deporte. So, I went.

Arriving alone and feeling only slightly nervous, I crossed the threshold of Bar Piú and immediately wondered what to do next. The bar was decorated for the following day’s Halloween celebrations, but since it was only 10 P.M. the stringy cobwebs and empty darkness matched the slim and quiet crowd of people lining the bar. I tapped an important-looking man on the shoulder, and asked, “Dondé está Thomas?” He took me to another man down the bar, who was animatedly talking with a party guest, and introduced us. I was happy that Thomas “recognized” me, and we exchanged greetings before he had to get back to his conversation with the other guest. I floundered around for a couple of minutes before spotting a girl who seemed available to chat, and after deciding not to continue looking like a lost-puppy, I walked up to her and said “Hola, my llamo Laura.” Although I don’t remember her name anymore, we had a lovely conversation until Thomas came by to introduce me to an American volunteer, Steve, a name that I hadn’t yet heard in Spain. Steve told me more about the organization, its goals, and its projects, and I really can’t believe my luck at having connections with a group that incorporates international education and sports.

My luck continued to surprise me later that night when Thomas introduced me to another volunteer, Victor. Victor is from Spain, but he studied for four years at—of all places in the world—Southern Mississippi. He speaks fluent English, and he even has a slight southern accent. It was incredible to meet someone in Spain who has spent a significant amount of time in the Dirty South, but what was even more incredible is the fact that Victor plays volleyball and beach volleyball. And, at Southern Miss, Victor actually learned to play from Ricci Luyties, professional volleyball extraordinaire whose illustrious career includes winning Olympic Gold in 1988 in Seoul. Needless to say, I was elated to find another fellow volleyball lover, especially since volleyball players consist of approximately 1.2184% of Madrid’s population.

Not only did I meet Thomas, who offered me his assistance in finding a place to live in Madrid, and not only did I learn about Red Deporte, a really cool non-profit organization that I may want to check out more in the coming months, but I also found people who play volleyball! And all of this originated with accepting an invitation.

2. Don’t be afraid to meet a new crowd.
Halloween night turned out to be one full of surprises. Alejandra had invited me to go out with her and her friends from her master’s program, and she came up with the ideas for our costumes. We wrapped ourselves in shiny white cloth to create our make-shift togas, we wove together plastic greenery and flowers into coronitas, and we covered ourselves in gold glitter (which is still all over our apartment). I invited SK to join us for the night, and around 11 p.m., the three of us made our way (picture this: in costume via Metro) to an apartment where the group was gathering for food, drink, and fun.

Although it took SK and I a good 30 minutes to feel comfortable amongst 20 grad students from all over the world (Portugal, Italy, England, Belgium, Spain), the group was so amiable and jovial, especially as the night carried on, that conversations began to flow with ease. Around 2 a.m., our boisterous cast of characters—which included a small coven of witches, Cleopatra, Scarecrow (as portrayed in Dark Knight by Heath Ledger), two Greek goddesses, and assortment of other personajes—marched out into the streets and hailed taxis to take us to one of Madrid largest and most famous nightclubs: Kapital.

Shortly after arriving at Kapital, Alejandra got lost in the throng of people (who were not dressed in costume, by the way) and ended up taking a cab home on her own accord. However, SK and I stayed out with her friends dancing until our feet hurt until the club closed at 6:00 a.m. Although I enjoyed dancing to American pop and Spanish salsa (this place is so huge that each floor plays music from a variety of genres), what I cherish most about la noche de fiesta was this fun-loving, easy-going group into which I was adopted. I was blown away by the fact that a group of about 15 people all made sure to stick together the entire night. When it was time to switch things up and try a different dance floor, the Adams Family would have been proud of the way our motley crew made our way through the discoteca. At the end of the night—or should I say at the start of the morning—we all waited in a cluster on the street outside the front doors until our party was reassembled and we could proceed to the nearest Metro, bus, or taxi stop. Even with Alejandra long gone, I felt welcomed in this mini-community… and I am so glad that I did Halloween Spanish-style.

3. Be the new kid on the block and then lead the way.
I was invited to have lunch and hang out with some fellow Americans after church on Sunday, and of course, I accepted the invitation. Although I was tagging along with an already-established group, I really enjoyed spending time with people my age in Christian fellowship. I enjoyed it so much (in addition to attending church) that I am going to try to work something out with Pastora Cathy to create more young adult gatherings and activities within The Community Church of Madrid. I may be new to this church, but I am ready to get involved and take some initiative.


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Living in a giant city is pretty much the complete opposite of living on a college campus like Furman’s. What I loved most about Furman was the awesome community of friends that I built over four years. Now, here I am in Madrid and I am working on forming a new network of friends that will hopefully transform into a multi-cultural community that can offer me support while living oceans away from my dearest friends and family.